While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
