you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
