Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
