Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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