you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
