3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
