This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
