Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
