I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
