He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
