Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
