dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
