We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Terrible idea I love it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
