Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
