1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
