I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
