This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
