Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
