just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
