wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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