his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
