I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
