i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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