oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
