ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
