woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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