I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
