is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
