I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
