It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
