I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
