I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
