You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
