New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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