you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
