drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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