I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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