There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
