that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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