I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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