I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
