I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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