No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
