I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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