We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
