So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
