She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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