I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
