he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
