i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
